We're finally gettin' the heck outta here!

Well, these last few weeks have been so exhilarating here in Finland in the deep, darkest weeks of winter that I haven't even had a moment to write a stitch about my comings and goings!  Ok, truth?  Life has been so excruciatingly dull and monotonous that I haven't had much to write about, lest I lull someone into a coma.  Well, with a little almost-four-month-old son, that's not exactly true.  For instance, I have to give Aleksi props for not caring about the sucky weather.  Back around Thanksgiving time and before, it was more like he just didn't know there was a world out there outside of mom's bra.  But now he really does notice everything and the poor sucker doesn't even mind that sunny days on the beach (did I mention I spent my youth in Waikiki??? *twinge of missing the Pacific Ocean*) are happening without us there to enjoy them, without us even getting a little bit of bright sunlight at all for as long as he can even remember.  I guess he just doesn't know what he's missing, the poor sap.  He just looks around our apartment as if it's a new and alien planet that we're on, with shapes and colors and movements that his wildest imagination could not have conjured in a million years.  His favorite activity is to be wrapped up close to mom in his wraparound fabric sling, and walk around the apartment.  Yes, we're talking about Angelica doing 700 laps around the apartment some evenings, when he gets a little over stimulated from the exhausting day of seeing things, and can't seem to unwind at the booby at bedtime, and prefers being snuggled up close but on the move (boy that rhythm of walking is comforting).  I don't mind really, but it would be easier to take with a television so I could at least listen/watch a dumb sitcom or something rather than actually counting the laps I do.  He doesn't even tolerate my standing still at the fridge to grab something to eat when he's in a particularly frustrated and tired mood.  But this happens rarely.  Most of the time, it only takes 5 minutes of this type of slinging action to put him out cold, especially if he has his hand or some of the sling fabric to suck on.  My splurge this holiday season is a Didymos sling which is a long piece of organically created woven fabric dyed in gorgeous colors, and wicked expensive (time in Boston revealed with that last piece of slang). I just contacted the local distributor here about getting one--hopefully I'll have it by my trip--since Aleksi is so heavy I think a stronger piece of fabric with less give will be better. It has diagonal stretch rather than stretch-all-over like stretch cotton has

This brings me to my next momentous parental decision.  What do I do about my over-active letdown?  That's the official name for it, of course.  The more accurate way to describe my boob's idea of feeding a baby who is right there by the nipple is 'There must be someone really hungry on the other side of the room, so let's create a high-pressured jet stream that will extend oh, about 5 meters!'  At the beginning of Aleksi's feeds, my boobs kick-in with the milk ejection in a ferocious manner, and poor Aleksi can't handle it too well.  He is usually so excited to end his hunger by the time he gets to the boob (2 minutes of hunger feels like a lifetime to him) that he's panting and sucking hard, and he ends up choking and gagging and unable to breathe for several seconds when this insane flow of milk happens.  Then he pulls away and cries as my boobs spray his face and get everything soaking wet.  I feel so awful that my boobs are kind of like Chinese Water Torture to Aleksi, but I can't do anything about it.  I've gotten advice about it and followed all their tips, but the boobs still want to spray the milk down Aleksi's throat without him having to suckle  at all, and Aleksi just didn't get memo.  He still sucks, the poor guy, thinking my breasts are normal, and then he gets way more than he can handle.  I'm afraid he's going to eventually get so traumatized by these feedings that he'll wean himself prematurely.  During the day this usually isn't such a problem, probably because baby is well rested and less irritated about being tired and hungry, so he relaxes and suckles slowly, but at night, especially when we are all trying to settle down for the evening in bed, he just can't handle such a tough end to the day.  Thank goodness that the night feedings that I do basically in my sleep are still going so smoothly and I get to sleep through the night.  When he 'dream feeds' (keeps eyes closed and doesn't really wake up) he suckles SO gently that even if my breasts are filling up his mouth with milk quickly, he is suckling with such a slow rhythm that it doesn't bother him.  

And such is the news from the land of the breastfeeding duo.  Other than breastfeeding, walking Aleksi around the apartment, and getting excited about our impending trip to the US (10 more days and counting--woohooo we go to NYC on New Years Day!  Excitement!), our life here doesn't consist of too much.  Well, shopping on ebay has taken plenty of my attention-getting Christmas gifts and breastfeeding accessories (comfy t-shirts with openings--I can never have too many considering how often my boobs soak through breastpad, bra, and shirt, leaving me with oh-so-comfy cold wet cloth against my chest), not to mention new diapering products.  Why, oh, why do so many WAHMs make gorgeous diapers, wool covers, and All-in-One with cozy fleece on in the inside and out?  It's all I can do not to buy a ton more.  I already have more than I need, yet I'm already thinking about what I'll need when Aleksi gets bigger.  He'll outgrow some of his stuff at 25 pounds, which is probably far away but who knows?  He's such a godzilla baby, at 18 pounds and counting (not even 4 months!!!), although to be fair he doesn't move on his own steam yet, and when he starts that, I think he'll stop bulking up at this rate.  I wonder if his rapid weight gain and my psycho boobies have anything to do with each other?  Hmmmm.....

We've been sick all week.  Bummer since this means I have to listen to the poor, pitiful sound of Aleksi attempting to breathe through his nose without much success.  Those little plungers are difficult to use, and of course can't get anything out that's really deep in there.  He seems in a good enough mood about having his first head cold, though.  I thought it would be horrific, watching him very miserably sick, but he seems fine, despite the excess snot.  Yay for passing along my antibodies in breastmilk!  I realllly hope we're all better by our trip. We already missed our cruise from Helsinki to Stockholm due to all having this darned cold which we were supposed to take today, and spend the day tomorrow shopping in the old city of Stockholm, coming back on Tuesday. I have been wanting to do that for ages, I hear the boats that go back and forth are huge and fun, evne in winter, and that Stockholm is beautiful. I really wanted to see some Scandinavian holiday decorations but I guess I'll have to wait for this year as Christmas is almost upon us and we are just trying to get healthy for our New Years Day traveling.

Speaking of my trip, we're going to NYC where we will be staying with my lovely friend, Jen, and her parents at their beach house in CT.  It will be fab to see the ocean, even if it's too cold to go out and enjoy it.  We'll only be there 36 hours before taking a nonstop flight to Knoxville, TN, and staying with my mother and her main-squeeze, Bill, who qualifies for the Southeast's best-boyfriend award.  I swear every time I talk to my mom on the phone she gives me one more reason to adore this guy for treatin' her so fine.  Go Bill.  We're even staying at his place, since my mom lives  with him most of the time and he has extra bedrooms and bathrooms and (yes! score!) his own washer and dryer, which my mom does not.  A cloth diaperin-fool like myself needs to have a washer/dryer, that's for sure.  Just use disposables?  They are so uncute and unsnuggly soft that I just can't bear it.  (Everyone has to have a hobby, right?  I wish this one were cheaper--I justify every purchase by thinking it's still cheaper than long term disposable diaper usage with multiple children... true but I'm still spending so much extra money just for pleasure on this)  We'll be there in TN staying in a guest wing at Bill's on his rural farm near where I went to middle school and high school, and know a lot of people (yay for catching up with old friends!) for a week, and then back to the greater NYC area for 2.5 days, to hang out at Jen's parents' beach house again before braving the flight-across-the-pond yet again.  I'm a little nervous about Aleksi breathing in all that recycled air on the plane for 9 hours, but at least our time in airports will be kept to a minimum with non-stop flights.  

My big dilemma is this--will I be able to resist putting Aleksi in his sling and braving Manhattan so I can get to Canal st. and all those great knock-off purses and shoes and watches?  Of course I need another knock-off designer item like I need another cute, custom-made diaper, but that kind of logic is for the sane.  But this once I might have to stay away from the subways and Manhattan in general, for fear of Aleksi being somewhere pretty unsafe.  I never knew motherhood brought this kind of paranoia on, but man it does.  I also never knew motherhood would be this moist, but man, it is.  Just in terms of waking up with cold wet cloth all over from my breasts soaking my pjs, the sheets, my child, etc, we could use a little less 'motherhood' around here.  My mommy dearest can make things, bless her heart (unlike me who wouldn't be able to tell the difference between crochet needles and knitting needles) and she made me wool breastpads which thankfully do much better than cotton, but the sheer volume of liquid my boobs expel is truly beyond something any product I've found can handle.   Maybe I'll try Lilypadz, I've heard those stop the leakage altogether by applying pressure to the nipple.  Hmmmmm.  You might be noticing around this time how circular this is becoming--it always comes back to the psycho-squirtin' boobies.  I think I'm making breastfeeding look bad with all my complaints of moisture.  Truly, holding Aleksi close and watching him melt into me while he eats and closes his eyes in ecstasy and relaxation or stopping to look at me and grin, with milk all over his face, has been more amazing and beautiful than I can sometimes bear.  But I can't help but wish that my heart was the only part of me enjoying thigns so much, and that my breasts would stop getting so excited about feeding him that they choke the poor boy.  Oh well, we'll get through this for sure. :)  One day we will have much bigger dilemmas and obstacles to face, and I'll look back on this time where I could shoot breastmilk across the room with a smile.  

Dec 30

Well there isn't much to report here--after all the Finnish Christmas celebrations (last minute tree-decorating and eating Reindeer as a part of a Swedish feast. Strange.) it is officially the 48 hour countdown to blast off and I just can't wait to get to the US! My mom is so excited to meet Aleksi. I'm a little nervous about traveling with a 4 month old, but I think he'll do fine. I just have to remember to breastfeed him going up and going down and thank goodness for not having to deal with more of that than absolutely necessary (yay for nonstop flights!). I'm so looking forward to seeing the sun again--here it's been gloomy for ages. I know it won't be balmy on the east coast in January but at least it will be a lot more daylight.
Last night we had our friends over for dinner and get this--they actually brought dinner to us! It was yummy, too--and they even brought entertainment via a Simpsons episode for us to watch on the laptop. I adore the Simpsons and sometimes long for a television just to try to catch American reruns on it every now and then. They are taking the cruise to Stockholm that we had to cancel last week due to being sick, and are picking us up some nice liquor for us (duty free!). Could this lovely North American couple (he's Canadian she's American) be a better duo for us to be chummy with over here in dreary Finland???? I shouldn't jinx this though, they'll probably move back to North America just as I'm congratulating myself on having found them. :P 
So yesterday I actually went to bed early, while my hubby was out seeing 'The Return of the King' after several hours at the gym.... it would have been a long 7-8 hours alone with Alexsi, but my mother-in-law and father-in-law came over to visit with us and that was really nice! They are the sweetest, nicest people. Then today I just milled around the house with Aleksi until this afternoon at which point I got to bust out of the house alone....imagine that.... and get my hair trimmed/highlighted again! It was my third time since Aleksi was born spending time (3 hours) away from him and it went fine. Matti didn't exactly enjoy himself having a hungry baby on his hands and no breasts to feed him there for a few minutes, but Aleksi fell asleep in no time, being carried around on daddy's warm chest.

So.... we're packing a few things but mostly going to pick up shopping in the US and bring them back with us, so empty suitcases we will be checkin' in at the airport! I'm looking nice with my new hairdo and ready to get some family portraits taken in TN. I can't believe I'm going back after 7 months out here in Finland--hoorah!!!!

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