Forgetting what the sun looked like...or the outdoors at all!  But baby seems to be warding off any cabin fever!

So... just have to fess up. I hope I don't inspire any awe for participating part time in the Industrial management department at the technical university my husband works at (in theory, getting my masters degree). Why? Because I only signed up originally to get my residence permit and I've never really planned on actually finishing the requirements, although I may. My plan is to keep going until I'm not interested in it anymore, taking as many classes per semester as I want to at the time. Last semester (my first one), I took 3 courses-two self study 'book' courses (read the text, show up on campus and take an exam), and one course which was actually really time intensive-long lectures, lots of group assignments, tough exam. I guess I'm good at the book course format because I found that to be easy, and you get a lot of credit for the course. The other course which was more traditional was sooooooo much time and sooo much work and just so hard, and it was worth half the credits of the others. Strange. Anyway this semester besides taking a Beginning Finnish language course, I'm signing up for a couple classes that I can do from home, and a couple I actually have to show up a few times at the university for. But don't give me any credit for 'going for my masters' over here while I have a newborn--I'm going to leave the house all of a dozen times all semester, and I'm practically only agreeing to an hour per day of work, tops, and stuff I can do WHILE breastfeeding. Probably not the time-labor-intensive prospect you may envision when you think 'masters degree'. It's really quite fluffy, unlike masters programs in the US. Oh, I forgot to mention one huge thing---it's FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Yes, that's right, all universities in finland are public, and don't cost anything to go to, even for foreigners. Yay for that. But so far, I do like the classes so I'll keep going for the rest of this year and probably next. Most of my bachelors in mathematics from Smith (in Massachusetts, which was NOT FREE, let me tell you) will get counted as credits for a 'minor' at the technical university here in Finland. I should mention that there is no such thing as a bachelors here, --everyone just goes straight for their masters so you can kind of think of this masters program as the regular 'college' kids go to after their Finnish high schools end. It just takes 6 years, and that's what everyone does.

Whew, that was a long ramble.


So.....today.....

I got up and met my friend Erin for quiche and tea at my favorite coffee shop, and my friend Valerie called while I was on my way out the door saying she was in my neighborhood, so I invited her and got to introduce two of my American friends to each other. Valerie has a son who is about 7 weeks old, and we were both pushing our carriages through downtown to meet Erin, and chatting in English. Big grin for getting to chat out loud in English with a native speaker. TWO native speakers, even, when I met with Erin. I gave her chocolate and a card, and bought her quiche and latte. 

I brought wedding pictures to show the waitress at the coffee shop, Laura, who is so nice and always makes tons of conversation wtih me when I'm there. She asked me if she could buy some baby hats that my mom makes and sells in TN, because she saw Aleksi looking adorable in one, and asked me to bring wedding pictures (she would too) so we could look at each others'. Her husband was there yesterday and I met him--he was the architect who did the inside of the coffee shop which is SOOOO gorgeous--very victorian and antique-y looking.

Anyway, I took Aleksi to a nurse apt. at the antenatal clinic, he is getting quite big---3.785 kg and 52cm. Then I went to the magistrate's office and got his name officially registered with the gov, and got a copy of his birth certificate from them (it's not something they do at the hospital here, like the name thing), and now I have everything I need to get Aleksi his American passport and social security card and, oh, yeah, US CITIZENSHIP next week. Next we stopped at the biggest dept. store after that to nurse and change Aleksi, cus they have a big changing room. Then I went and treated myself to Banana Chocolate cake and coffee at ANOTHER coffee shop and proceeded to go to the baby boutique to buy some more diapers and a wool diaper cover, so my sheets stay dry tonight. Wooohhhaaaa, did I tell anyone I'm addicted to cloth diapering? 

I got home and decided HOUSEWORK FINALLY HAD TO HAPPEN. Actually I was hoping to surprise Matti when he got home, so I scrubbed and vacuumed and did laundry for a couple hours between breastfeeding sessions, then got a call from Matti saying he would just as soon spend the night in Helsinki since he just got out of his seminar and it started early again the next morning, and it's a 2 hour train ride,. So I told him, fine stay at a friend's house, and so Aleksi and I are alone at home tonight. Just more time for me to hang out on BC!

Whew, I think that's my whole day.

 -------------------------------------------------------

It's about 1 in the afternoon here in Finland. I should have gone to bed sooner last night, because Aleksi was waking up every couple hours to feed. Is this a 1 month growth spurt? I think his growth spurts won't fall on normal times because he was 6 weeks premature. It's hard to figure out what his system is thinking about things, in terms of him still being asleep so much of the time, like a preemie, yet being huge (nearly 8 pounds) for a baby born who hasn't approached his due date yet (oct 9, remember?)

I just have to comment on the SHEER AMOUNT OF LAUNDRY a baby produces. I mean, goodness! I'm also cloth diapering, and I'm so new at it I'm not getting it 'just-so' every time, and therefore he's leaked onto other stuff a few times because I had the wrong kind of filler in the pocket diaper, etc etc.... but I'm learning and so far no damage has been done that can't be undone. I have to admit that newborn pee is like warm water--odorless, colorless, and just not about to stain anything, which is great. And so far poop hasn't gotten all over anything except my tummy once when I was holding him over one arm to wash his tushy in the sink and then walked back to the changing table with his bum against my tummy and he went poopie right then. The flushable liners I use in his diapers get all his poop every time, so I just toss it in the toilet, easy as pie. I have to rant about one thing. We do NOT have a dryer!!! Sob sob sob. I hate hanging everything on the rack to dry. It takes forever, and alllll his cotton stuff feels stiff after, and I hate putting it against his skin. Although I admit he does NOT have sensitive skin. No diaper rash, nothing. And I have been lazy in the middle of the night and left a diaper on him for 6 hours before. Still no diaper rash. (cloth isn't as wet against baby's skin as you'd think, in my opinion, because fleece stays dry against his skin, and that's what I have on top of everything inside the diaper to be soft against him).

Okay, so anyway, enough about diapering and laundering after a baby. Like I said it's afternoon but we haven't done anything but spit up on the bed sheets and eat some eggs and toast. Aleksi did the spitting up, and I ate the eggs and toast, in case anyone is having a hard time figuring that one out.

Matti is at a seminar in Helsinki still and will be back in five hours or so.. The weather here is still incredibly dim and overcast, gray and nasty, but also rainy since last night, so I think since I don't have any plans today (no one to watch Aleksi so i can go to Beginning Finnish class for75 minutes--darn), I'll just stay in and try to catch some naps when Aleksi takes a break from feeding. I know I've been talking about how it is wonderful to get out every day, but I have so much baby-item-organizing to do here at home, as well as mountains of laundry (more than will fit on our rack today, so I can't even really do it all at once), so I guess I'll just hang loose inside and take it easy today. My friend, Nanna, had a little girl last week so I could get in the car when Matti gets home and go visit that little family, this evening. We'll see if Matti wants to. A girlfriend for Aleksi! (she doesn't have a name yet! Nanna is going to be in the same boat I was for a few weeks, I think, in agonizing name-choosing-land).

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Marriage, motherhood....where did Angelica go?

Stunning news....I told Matti last night when he got home that we HAD to get a dryer. He consented. Yay.

I changed my mind yesterday and decided to get out of the house and go get Aleksi's American paperwork stuff taken care of. Can you believe they want me to get headshot pictures taken of a 4 week old baby? Come on, what is the point of having his picture on a passport at this age....it'll be his passport until he's 5, and when he's 5, I'm sure his picture as a newborn will be SO helpful. His eye and hair color will undoubtedly be different in less than a year, so geez! Plus I doubt I'll be able to get his eyes open for the camera unless he happens to be alert when I get him to a camera store. We'll see how that goes. There are all these 'passport photo' booths around Tampere--in the department stores, at the police station, etc, but when I asked the US Consolate if I could just use one of those he said they didn't come out the right size or on the right kind of paper. So I have to go to a photo shop. How strange is it that passport photo booths are no good for passports?

Anyway, I didn't get out of the house yesterday after all. I got dressed in fresh clean pink courdory pants (they're cute, I swear), a pink sweater, and a light pastel green scarf my mom crocheted for me. I felt all ready to face the world. I decided to wake up Aleksi a bit to change his diaper first, because I realized it had been more than 3 hours since I changed him, so I decided I'd do it reallly fast on the bed. So I whipped off his diaper, proceeded to wipe him a bit, and before I could get the new one on him, Projectile Poopy!!!!!!! all over the pink pants, the green scarf, the white comforter cover, etc etc. Of course I had something under him, but it was PROJECTILE poopie that went a few feet in a jet out from his bum. So funny. I even had to laugh at the time. While I went to the bathroom to take off the poopified clothes, he peed in an arc straight up and got a spot on the bed soaked. It was amusing. Then I was going through the paperwork one more time and realized I was missing a document, so I wouldn't be able to send the thing off that day anyway, so I didn't end up leaving the house at all. I called the magistrate and the are mailing the missing doc to me today, so hopefully on monday i can get his pictures taken and mail the entire packet of forms out. I hate putting my original birth certificate in the mail, along with marriage certificate, but luckily I actually have another BC and several more MCs. I don't know why they gave us so many originals in TN with gold seals and everything, but they did. AND we have copies on top of that, so we basically have dozens of marriage certificates. Did I mention we got married twice? So we have dozens of Finnish marriage certificates, too. We decided we'd like the form in Finnish, to speed up my social system application last summer, so I could give birth under Finnish health insurance, and didn't want the american MC to slow things down. The ceremony was in the magistrate's office and took about 90 seconds. It was absolutely nothing, and we were actually already married, so it really doesn't count.

We went to visit another couple's home last night because they had a little girl 8 days ago that we wanted to meet. She was yet ANOTHER cutie mini-Finn.  I hate to be biased but Aleksi is even cuter than any other babies in town (what mother doesn't think that way?). Sigh.. I'm lucky I have the handsomest infant ever.

Anyway, the sun is actually shining right now!!!!!!!!!! I definitely have to get showered and dressed and out of the house TODAY since it's finally sunny (a bit) for the first time ALL WEEK. I haven't left the house yet, needless to say. Aleksi was so sweet--he cluster fed all evening and then when I went to bed I got to sleep 5 hours uninterrupted (almost--Aleksi did ask for a snack in the middle, but he was snuggled against me so I sleepily pulled out a breast and went back to sleep-barely counts), and then up for a real feeding, then three more hours of sleep, up for a real feeding, and then two hours nap. So I feel pretty caught up on rest, happily enough. C hated to go off to work this morning because Aleksi was soooo awake at that time, and just being so alert and cute and responsive and snuggly. Aleksi sleeps most of the time, so it was nice that he's starting to 'wake up' more and more every day.

Aleksi is asleep on his boppy pillow, smushed against my tummy the way he likes. I have the laptop on my knees, and just passing the time, feeding him on demand, and snuggling otherwise. I lean down and sniff him every chance I get--the smell of him just makes my eyes fill up with tears, it's so heavenly. Being a mommy is not just rewarding, I think, it's downright sinfully delicious when you've got a little angel in your arms!

I haven't done much to speak of since I posted on Friday. We spent the day yesterday at my mother in law & father in law's house. I love them! My MIL's face lights up when she sees Aleksi, and I understood when she said 'Bring him over here to me!!!' in Finnish yesterday (feelin' quite proud of myself). Both her and my FIL are so cutesy with Aleksi, it's adorable. I feel bad we don't go over more often-they enjoy it so much. We live five minutes apart, but we probably have only been going every week or so to spend a few hours with them. But that's ok, I suppose--MY mother hasn't even met her only grandchild yet. I want her to come visit but she has shingles near her eyes and that virus is in the same family as Chickenpox so she's putting plans on hold. I miss her, though. More on how cute my mother in law is: she knows how much I like berry pies so she made a blueberry pie yesterday to eat after making my favorite dinner. I swear, she pulls out all the stops to make us want to hurry back and visit them again soon! I watched a few minutes of 'Junior' on TV while laughing with the relatives (bro-in-law, Hennu, was there too, with his girlfriend, Katri, who by the way is not so comfortable with speaking English, even though she can, a bit--so we don't exactly get to bond.  Or talk.) about how Arnold will be the next Gov. of California. Craziness. So we had a good day over there yesterday.

Last night Aleksi wanted to wake up and feed quite often, and I went to bed pretty late, so I ended up taking another nap this afternoon for 3 or 4 hours. It was great. I couldn't even get myself snapped out of nap mode when my mom called from TN--I just babbled incoherently for a few minutes and she let me go back to sleep. I love napping with Aleksi snuggled up next to me on the bed. I have to get some sort of railing for the bed soon, when he is able to turn over on his own.

Aleksi and I are hanging out this morning, him on his boppy pillow nestled against my boob that he periodically wakes up and finds appetizing, and then again finds very sleep-inducing and he can't resist the siren's call to slumber against my breast. He is spending more and more awake, alert time every day, and I am glad for that! I didn't sign up for motherhood to just watch an infant sleep forever, waking up for changings and feedings. It's great and all, but I could have gotten a doll for that, I want a human to interact with! Now I'm getting exponentially more and more satisfied every day with the level of communication, interaction, learning on his part, etc.... babies are super. 

Here it is getting cold and the days are getting shorter and shorter.  I somehow don't mind, though--I find the encroaching night kind of exotic, just like the daylight-around-the-clock was kind of exotic.  I guess I'm just easygoing where weather is concerned.

However, I'm bummed about the lack of autumn the way I'm used to it. Pumpkin patches! sigh. Scarecrow Festivals! swoon. Hayrides… *pout* Finland may sound romantic but we go from a few weeks of fall-like weather to a very cold, sleet and snow-y, dark season very quickly (like mid sept. to mid oct. is what you would recognize as fall, then on to winter). And the biggest bummer is no halloween, thanksgiving, pumpkins, nothing.
I just have to wait until the Christmas season, which apparently is huge around here--lots of decorations downtown and such.  Matti complains about commercialized holidays, but I LOVE the city lights and decorations, crowded shopping scenarios, the festivity in the air--give it to me! Plus, I'm the one who strolls downtown every day just for a change of scenery and to people watch and maybe mingle a bit and hope to meet someone friendly and non-reserved enough to have a conversation with me. So it goes without saying that I would enjoy the familiar town center decked out with a Christmas tree and tons of lights, and people rushing around in a more cheerful, jubilant mood, more friendly, and the whole city just being more interesting in general for me to observe. Plus my mom is a crochet-hat-maker extraordinaire and has some little red Santa hats with white poms on top in his size on their way here from Tennessee, so he'll be super duper cute this holiday season!

Today I didn't sleep in quite as late as usual--only to about 9 or 10 oclock, of course waking up every two hours all through the AM hours to feed Aleksi, but that goes without saying.  But anyway, I stayed up until noon, starting laundry and stuff, then found myself napping after a particularly relaxing horizontal feed on the bed (shocking, isn't it) for a couple hours straight, when Aleksi woke up long enough to whine at me to get up, so I did, and then he fell back asleep, politely, to let me get some chores done, and get myself ready for the day.  Then I fed him again, and we set off for the afternoon.  I strolled him downtown and stopped to pick up some food here, some extra Calcium for me at the pharmacy, and other mundane things.  I meant to stop and look for cute storage baskets to house all his too-big-for-him clothes, as well as buy some deoderant (mine has somehow detached and is constantly falling out of the plastic container, and I curse up and down every time, as if I'm shocked it happened again) and face wash.  But I didn't get around to it.  ...because....I stopped at Laura's cafe, Laura being the sweet, young woman who owns and runs the cafe I keep raving about.  We sat and went through all my wedding pictures after the cafe closed (while it was open I of course had tea and quiche and read Poisonwood and waited for Laura to be free), and she bought one of my mom's hats.  She paid for it with 150 g of black tea and the quiche, but I thought it was an even trade.  :)  I ended up staying at her cafe for a couple of hours, and fed Aleksi for about an hour of it, and even changed him on the big victorian comfy couch in there.  Laura helped out and brought hot water for me to dip my cloth wipes in, to clean his bum.  I like that place!  I wonder why she has made such an effort to jump the language barrier and be so chummy with me... oh well, I oughtta just enjoy it!

I pushed Aleksi back home, stopping at Stockmann, the huge dept. store, on the way, and they were having their 'hullut päivät' or, 'crazy days' sale, and man it WAS crazy in there.  I stopped in to buy some ice cream, and odds and ends, and I swear little old ladies were running over small children with their walkers to get to the items that were set out in crazy colored bins.  The crazy part of the whole thing is that the prices were just as expensive as always, yet the marketing of this extravaganza sale is so good, no one but me has noticed.  Ah, well, silly Finns.

Oct 13, 2003 

I left the house today!!!!

First I showered, washed my hair, shaved, slathered myself from head to toe with awesome lavender scented body oil and put on makeup and got dressed in my favorite burgandy velvet pants. I always am so glad when I do that--I try to everyday but you know how it gets when you're tired and pajamas are so comfy.
I walked downtown with Aleksi slung against my chest (meaning, with a baby sling/carrier, not like I slung him smack against me to be mean. lol) and it was pretty cold out. Didn't wear a hat or gloves and regretted it. I bought toiletries and makeup that I had been needing for awhile, and I feel stocked now.

No, I didn't stop at Laura's cafe or anywhere to eat anything for that matter. Can you imagine? But I walked for over an hour and I felt happy to get exercise without compensating by having pie!

Oct 14, 2003 

The topic of today's fascinating newborn-adventures was....  Elimination Communication…..   Matti doesn't 'believe' in diapers, think they're too bulky and unnatural, so we did some research and there's a slew of info on EC and 'Infant Potty Training', so I read read read read about it today and then actually tried it.  I took the cover off the dipe (I use cloth as I've mentioned before.  I'm such a cloth-diapering addict!  The $h!t is so cute) so I'd know when he would pee could observe his 'cues' that he gives before hand, (I always hear him poop--it's a huge noise!).  I tried to take him to the bathroom and hold him over the toilet 4 times and aim his little peepee down so the pee would go into the bowl, but as for peeing, nothin' doing.  But as for going poo---well the third time it sprayed out in a high-powered jet stream all over the bathroom. 

That's all the Elimination Communication I need.  Aleksi communicated to me that I can either clean diapers or clean the bathroom, and I'll just do the laundry to keep clean diapers on his bum, thank you.

The funny thing is that about once a day, barely thinking about it, I've noticed his smelly farts (while changing him on the changing table) that are always a prelude to a big poop, and grabbed a wipe and 'caught it', avoiding soiling a diaper.  The whole thing only takes 5 seconds so I barely give it another though--I smell the poopie coming, I grab the poopie, I get rid of the poopie, I continue to put a clean diaper on his clean bum.  Period.  NOW I know that that little once a day practice is EC!  So I guess I've been ECing and not thinking about it, and will continue to do so.  Maybe I can get better at catching more poopies per day, so ds doesn't have to sit in poopie *ever*.  Surely there's some method to his poopie-madness, and if I can time all his diaper changes with his pooping, I'll never have a poopie diaper again!  I think if I use a special sound ('sssss') while he's pooping, also, that will later become a cue he understands, while potty training, and possibly make the whole thing more easy on him to understand (and at an earlier age, I hope!).   

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Off on a day-trip to the Embassy & Ikea!

I guess things got a bit busy this weekend after Tuesday.  Wednesday we got up before dawn and headed to Helsinki to visit the US Embassy, so Aleksi could get his report-of-birth-abroad application filed, SS card app. filed, and passport app. Filed.  He's an American now!  We just have to wait for the passport and report-of-birth paper (it will be like his American birth certificate now)  in the mail next week or the week after.  Ridiculous that they didn’t accept the passport pictures that I worked so hard to get, and we had to get new, bigger ones done.  Sigh. 

After the US Embassy, Matti  had a meeting in the café next door, and then we went to Ikea!  We wanted to get a really tall bookshelf and a crib, but those two big items wouldn't fit in my Accord, so we had to settle on a smaller bookshelf for the bedroom, which now is housing and organizing lots and lots of baby things next to the changing table, and a bunch of smaller organizing-type things for our apartment.  We didn’t get home until pretty late and we were all sooooo exhausted.  I am the queen of breastfeeding in public.  I managed to breastfeed Aleksi a couple times while walking around Ikea and shopping.  I had him in his kangaroo style sling, tummy to tummy with his head covered with part of the fabric, and I just dug around to release my breast in there and he chomped down on it and hung on tight while I walked around and he was being jiggled.  I was impressed with myself. 

One time, though, he popped off for a minute and breastmilk shot out in two jet-streams in a huge arch out from the cozy sling tent against my chest and onto the ground in the Ikea warehouse section when we were trying to get our items to buy. 

No one noticed, thank goodness.  You can call me Mizz Fountain.  

Yesterday I woke up feeling a bit under the weather, so I slept some more and then woke up in the early afternoon feeling shaky and dizzy, so I took it easy all afternoon.  Last night I felt better so I took Aleksi for a visit to my good friend Johanna’s apartment, where she has a one year old son that I think it adorable.  I watched her give him a bath and it was so cute.  I can’t wait for Aleksi to be so active and playful. 

Today I met with an American friend, Erin, and her 7 year old daughter Kia, for shopping around a ‘mall’ we have close to where I live, and for coffee, and then later to a greek restaurant for lunch.  The sun is out today!!!!!!  Woohoo!!!!

And that about catches everyone up on my activities.

Oct 18, 2003

It's 1 in the afternoon and Aleksi is snoozing on the Boppy pillow on my lap and smiling in his dreams, taking a break perhaps from breastfeeding.

You know, I am a Breastfeeding-in-public diva. I even have breastfed him in Laura's cafe by a huge picture window where everyone passing by could see! I'm doing all I can to promote the natural-ness of feeding your baby, so girls will grow up seeing it and maybe our culture will change little by little and it will be thought of as totally ordinary. Not that I've gotten any weird looks in Finland--no one seems to care. About feeding in the sling--his whole body was smooshed up against me (I think Andrea said the thought scared the begeesus out of her, but it's really not unsafe!) and wrapped with a strong fabric a million different ways around my waist and shoulders. He was safe and secure like that, I promise! He likes being that close to mommy--newborns like womb-simulation, I think.

Yesterday evening was uneventful--I just bought a million more cute diapers online and am even paying exhorbitant shipping to Finland cus I just am that addicted to cute, organic fabric-ed, cloth diapers. Guilty! Then Matti came home and we watched a rented movie, Equilibrium, it was soooo good!!! And Christian Bale is a hottie supreme.

I also cleaned yesterday while Matti was at the gym--scrubbed the floors all over the house--how do they get so dirty in just one week? There were dust bunnies under our big bed in the bedroom ready to attack me. I'm glad I got them first. Whew. But all the stuff we got from Ikea to make our place more organized has really helped and the place is looking great.

Today we're going to pack up Aleksi into his car seat (I hate doing that!!!) and go a few miles to Peter and Riitta's house so that Matti's  grandfather (Riitta’s dad---sweeeeet old guy-love him) can meet Aleksi. We'll probably hang around there awhile and I'll watch the Finnish lessons that my Peter  tapes for me off the TV when they come on. I enjoy those, and everyone gets a chance to take turns cuddling with Aleksi--this kid is like the center of the universe over here in Finland, I have to say.

Oct 19, 2003

Hail!

I guess Autumn is officially over.

Little balls of hail fell on my head, and down on Aleksi's head as he peeked out of the baby björn carrier (also zipped up in my down jacket up to his neck--so cute--I looked pregnant again!).  I went to the in-law's house today for a traditional Finnish meal--potatoes with butter/onion sauce.  That's it!  Surprisingly tasty and flavorful but quite a starchy meal, huh?  It was yummy and I happily topped it off with yummy, way-better-than-American Finnish chocolate (I wish I could shake Mr. Fazer's hand, the founder of Fazer Chocolate, the yummiest stuff ever--Godiva quality but you can buy a huge bar at the store for less than two dollars). 

I studied Finnish via the language show on TV that my Father in law tapes for me, and then we came home.  I bought ridiculously expensive cloth diapers from Suzie at Christensen Creations SOS Diapers (online wahm store) and am paying international shipping rates(! Gosh I'm silly), and bought more of those diapers used off ebay and am also paying to have them sent here from Canada. All because they got the highest reviews on the internet.  When it comes to certain items that I consume, I get irrational and eccentric about getting the absolute top-of-the-line, with this insane money-is-no-object attitude.  Total shopping addiction.  But then when it comes to most things, I'm as frugal as it comes.  But diapering is quite important, and I'm obsessed with getting a perfect system that I can reuse with all my children.  And something slim and trim enough to fit under all the name-brand adorable-as-heck baby clothes I also got new/barely used off of ebay last summer.  :)  I love baby stuff.  Still haven't bought a crib though...

I met up with my finnish galfriend Mirka and her nine week old son, Onni (means 'joy' in English) for coffee and conversation down the street and now I'm back.  We're going over to our friend's house tonight that have a daughter that's only 3 weeks old, and still has no name.   :)  I think the boys (my husband and Nanna's husband, Tommi) are going to discuss house-building-plans, *grunt*  (that was meant to be a Tim Allen style, male-sounding grunt).  I don't think we'll be having a home built in the next few years, but probably soon after that.  Or whenever the real estate bubble bursts, and prices come down. 

Oct 22, 2003

I have onions making crackly-sizzly sounds as they fry in olive oil on the stove (I love that smell!!!!) with some chicken, and some veggies steaming next to them, creating a lovely billowy steam cloud above them. Today in Finland the temperatures have fallen below freezing! But it's nice to be in where it's warm and toasty (and yummy food smells invite) when it's nippy out.

Earlier, I was brave and ventured forth into the cold gray world, despite the -5 celcius temperature. Last night Aleksi woke up a couple of times, as usual, but he was up by 8am, no more little naps between feedings for the rest of the morning, as usual, so I didn't get as much sleep....so I stayed in my pajamas for a super long time--finally around noon Aleksi let us both nurse-to-sleep for a nap to catch up on rest. Then I woke up (well, he woke me up.) and showered, got dressed, made the bed and straightened up the bedroom. Then I wrapped up Aleksi in his pikkuruu wrap and even zipped up my down jacket over him (it's a size small-how on earth does LL Bean size a piece of outerwear that can house a grown woman and a baby and label it a small? At least I know I'm really not post-partum-mammoth).

Oh, Finnish word of the day--Pikku means little ....so pikkuruu means a little 'ruu (kenguruu --they spell it with different vowels than our 'kangaroo'). Which is just how I look with him strapped against my front.

I stopped at the flea market that I pass whenever I walk towards the center of town from our apartment and showed the cash-register-girl whom I always chat with my baby for the first time, and she was asking me point blank all these personal questions like, 'Did anything bad happen with the birth?' or 'Are you having post-partum depression?' but luckily I'm glowing, following a 90 minute birth, so I didn't mind the questions. But if the answers hadn't been so easy to say to a casual acquaintence, that would have been awkward! This old Finnish woman was thrilled with peeking in on top of my jacket opening and seeing Aleksi, and I thought that was sweet that the nice old lady was getting such a kick over my little bundle. Wish I could have understood everything she said, though!

Then I proceeded to walk towards a main department store with a huge grocery store in the bottom, and bought half a roast chicken to eat there on the spot at the adjacent cafe, along with fruit, yogurt, ice cream. Strange meal, I know, but it's what I wanted!

I ate the fruit, yogurt, and chicken, but stuck the little tiny tub of ice cream I had bought in my bag and went to the library to pick up a bunch of books I had on reservation.....Cathy will appreciate my huge excitement over these books! Shogun by James Clavell, Asta's Book by Barbara Vine, The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver, Lucky by Alice Sebold, and last but NOT LEAST is The Baby Book by the Sears couple, William and Martha. That last one isn't a novel, obviously, it's the Attachment Parenting 'bible' and I can't wait to dig in.

I went upstairs to the little cafe they have at the library and pulled out my ice cream to eat it before it melted, and pore through my books, meaning to buy a coffee from them as soon as I finished my melting ice cream. But no sooner than I pulled out my ice cream than the man behind the counter made a beeline for my infant-clad self and said a few things in Finnish, and of course I asked him to speak in English, and he haltingly said, 'I hope you don't mean to be eating your own refreshments' --as if it were a threat! Too funny (I know it probably just got mis-translated and he wouldn't have phrased it in a 'threat'ening way in Finnish)! I said, yes, and he said that the cafeteria was for customers only. So I asked him if I had to leave and he said I did so I left. Humph! I hang out there often and give them business but I'll think twice now. It's not like they were short of seats.
Finns hate confrontation so I'm surprised by that encounter.

I left the library and went to a bus stop because I was getting chilly and didn't want to walk anymore, so I came straight home. Not only am I not post-partum-depressed, but I have felt so exhuberant....I practically had a bounce in my step as I walked home today, so grateful to be a SAHM with this little angel son.

Anyway, Wednesday was my self-designated clean-all-the-floors in the apartment and scrub or dust anything that needs it, along with organizing the messy zones in our place, but.....I didn't feel inspired! I did go ahead and scrub the kitchen spotless after I started dinner, so we'll only have a few things to wash after dinner, and the kitchen floor and counters are shiny. And I made the bed, so the bedroom looks inviting. As long as the bedroom looks inviting and the kitchen looks well-groomed, I really don't care about anything else. I certainly am not the type to scrub the toilet every two days so I can sleep better at night.

I just had to add that tonight got more humorous.

As you all know, I've been feeling a bit guilty about having Aleksi's bum wrapped up in diapers all the time, so I've been thinking of instead of trying to read his cues and do Elimination Communication all the time, have like an hour every evening where we lay on the bed together, with him naked on a spread out diaper.  He didn't like it too much at first, so I picked him up and put the diaper across my hips as I laid against some pillows and let him be on top of my chest and tummy.  Of course he smells my milk and goes nuts for it, so I help him find my nipple and the sheer joy and relief of being reunited with one of his two favorite breasts was enough to break forth a dam of pee all over my lap, through the diaper and through my jeans and underwear.  I just laughed and figured I'd change when I got up.  He kept nursing but then seemed uncomfortable so I decided to lay him down on a blanket for a minute (he just peed, so what damage could he do, right?) so I could rearrange things and hold him more naturally to nurse.  He took that moment to (without sending anyone any cues at all, just total look of calm innocence on his face) shoot projectile liquid poopy out of his butt all over our comforter!

Matti  and I cracked up (he was there laying with us by then too).  Matti  scooped up the little boy and took him for a bath and I threw lots of stuff into the laundry--too bad I had already started a load (our washer takes 2 hours to do and it's getting late).  I took the duvet cover off and scrubbed at the comforter underneath, which seems to want to be slightly discolored but no big deal since no one sees it, and then managed to get the light blue cover totally clean. So no harm done.

Then when I took the clean little boy on the changing table to try to get a diaper on him, he managed to pee in such a way to moisten the new diaper and soak the table, too!  Clever little boy, I tell ya...

Screw the no (or less) diapering strategies I've been trying!  I'll stick to my cute cloth diapers and let him enjoy naked time during baths.  And for changing times, I'll lay a dry cloth wipe on his little penis as soon as it sees the light of day so in case he gets the urge, he'll just moisten that one cloth instead of get everything dirty!   You live, you learn.

Oct 24, 2003

Let's see, news from Finland.... ummmm, yesterday Aleksi and I got out relatively early (10am!) with a friend of mine, Mirka, and her 10 week old, Onni.  We all went to this music-for-babies class at this local center Mattid 'Napapiiri' which means Neighbor, I think.  Anyway from what I can tell it's where hippie mommies and their babies and toddlers get together.  :)  There are breastfeeding support groups and mom clubs and dance-with-your-baby and the music&babies classes.  And more stuff I'm sure!  But the problem is, that it's all done in Finnish and surprisingly few of the ladies speak great English.  So I felt kind of awkward.  Plus Aleksi thought it would be a great idea to fall asleep while walking over there (carried against my chest and wrapped up in a zillion warm layers including my down jacket cus it was snowing a teeny bit and very cold!) and stayed asleep for the whole class.  Would not wake up.  Oh well, his perrogative.

So I had Mirka and Onni (who by the way is a really unruly & tempremental little guy who gets pretty angry all the time but who happened to be o.k. with napping in his carriage for a bit), over to my apartment for tea, and I shared our wedding album and my work-in-progress (obviously) baby book I'm making for Aleksi.  Plus we just talked for awhile, while Aleksi woke up and wanted to be fed!  (Breastfeeding is so darned easy--just attach baby to your front and keep doing what you're doing!  I can even walk around and do it handsfree!)  Then after Mirka left, Aleksi and I stayed awake a bit longer, then retired to the bedroom for some long afternoon nappin'.  We napped like champs, periodically feeding in between.  Aleksi got hungry at least every hour, and this continued all day!  From mid afternoon to bedtime he pretty much wanted to eat all the time!  But he let me sleep for 3 hours, uninterrupted at bedtime, and then after feeding him at that point, I slept for another 5 hours, basically in a row (I think I remember him wanting to snack at some point, but he was all set up already next to my nipple, so minimal effort was required to get him latched on and drift back to sleep).  Now I'm up and feeling well rested.  But anyway, we went to visit Nanna and Tommi (our friends) and their little newborn girl last night at their place, which was nice.  But I did get to watch TV for an hour last night at Tommi & Nanna's--some sitcom/drama deal about high schoolers in a small town and their doctor fathers.  I don't know what it was called. But then the show, where a popular boy was in surgery while his little girlfriend waited patiently with her good guy friend who happened to be the surgeon's son, penetrated my dreams!  I dreamed that the boy getting operated on didn't get better, in fact got toasted in a toaster and turned into toast crumbs!  Weird, huh?  Probably signifies that I'm simply insane! 

I'm sure my napping and sleeping sagas are incredibly fascinating for everyone out there, but hey, life with a newborn revolves around eating, sleeping, and pooping, so I have nothing more fascinating to tell!

Oh, I've been reading Dr. Sears' 'Baby Book' and it's wonderful.  The chapter on breastfeeding, and latching techniques really surprised me because he describes how to, and even names little tricks I've been instinctively using with Aleksi to get him latched on well without realizing anyone else had ever thought of them!  I guess I'm not so innovative after all.  :)

I just want to share that I think it's so funny when Aleksi is nursing and then jerks his head off and arches his neck backwards and to one side so his face is smooshed down in a blanket that he was laying on, and then even though he's many inches away from my nipple at that point, he starts looking for it down in the blanket and even will start sucking on the blanket!  So confused, the little stinker....  This is why he doesn't eat much when I don't stay awake with him at night and leave him to his own devices!

Oct 27, 2003

I just have to start learning to go to bed around 9 oclock at night, when Aleksi usually calls it a night and sleeps and snuggles the rest of the evening away, ready to really get up and stay awake and play around 7 or 8 in the morning. I tend to stay awake until midnight or 1, as is in my nature (and my husband's). But that doesn't work too well since I don't get to sleep until noon, with this little munchkin. That's ok, I enjoy our mornings together, snuggled up and feeding away, and then his eyes wide open looking around at the world in awe, as if the bedroom light fixture were something of mystic proportions. He doesn't mind just relaxing in my lap for these types of mornings, and I can even surf the web and write emails in the process, thanks to my lap being able to accommodate the laptop and my child nestled on a pillow close to my belly. Today I got out of the house around noon, and was surprised by how thoroughly Old Man Winter has made his debut and touched every last corner of my neighborhood. Layers of snow, ice, and gravel coated the roads and sidewalks outside our building-thanks for the gravel, I was able to amble further than the front door to our apartment building. Even with the little rocks for traction, it was quite treacherous and slippery. I had Aleksi bundled up against my chest and zipped up inside my LL Bean down jacket, where the motion of walking along with the sound of my heartbeat and the warmth of my body never fail to create a womb-like atmosphere conducive to nothing but the deepest of snoozes for my little babe. It's like a siren song-he could be fussy as heck, angry at the world, but if I snuggle him against my body and walk, it takes about 30 seconds before his eyes droop and another 30 seconds for him to shut out the world and drift off into delicious slumber. This is perhaps even more relaxing than breastfeeding-in case you didn't know this trivia: hormones (oxytocin) in breastmilk are very relaxing and sleep-condusive, and the same warm-fuzzy feeling you get after exercise or orgasm. No wonder babies' eyes roll back in their head and they look so blissful while breastfeeding! Anyway, I was on a mission today to find a teapot that would make tea-time a breeze, with the loose leaves I buy. I hate the single serving little seive that I use to dip the leaves in a mug of hot water, because afterwards it's so difficult to pry out the soggy leaves from that little clamped-shut device. I found one! At least this way, if I know I'll be drinking several cups during the course of an evening, I can put plenty of tea in the middle part of the pot, and fill it full of boiling water, and just pour the tea into my mug. I don't know why this device fills me up with so much joy, but it just does. Anyway, I went to the main department store, Stockmann, and they didn't have one, but they did have the same device, mug size. I passed on that, and proceeded to the other main department store, Sokos, which is even more overpriced than Stockmann, but hey I was determined to get me a pot. Anyway, on the way I was caught by my own siren song that I can hear coming out of The Body Shop, so I went in with my mind fixated on this dry skin problem I've been having on my hands and feet. My hands have been drier than normal, I think, because I've been cleaning my house more than normal this last month. Actually scrubbing the floors and counters on my hands and feet, and the toilet and sinks-stuff I normally avoid doing, but lately I have felt kind of good about living in a clean home. But my hands have suffered. My feet I have no idea why they are suddenly so rough, but perhaps dry Finnish air has something to do with it. Anyway, I looked around to see what they had to solve my skin woes, and lo and behold they had some awesome hemp cream. I slathered my hands with it, and even now, hours later, as I am typing about my day, my hands still feel silky (and I've washed them a couple times!). I think I'll go back and buy a tube of that stuff (I just sampled it out today). BUT -and this is a huge BUT-it doesn't smell good, and all evening I keep wondering what that strange odor is, and then I realize it's my dumb hands. They ain't dry but they don't smell pretty…. I guess you really can't have your cake and eat it. Anyway, Aleksi continued to sleep against me and I continued to Sokos, bought my pot (yay!!!) and felt an even bigger siren song (actually it was my stomach growling) coming from Laura's café, which happens to be nearby. So I went and proceeded to drink gallons of vanilla tea (delicious!) and read my novel, with Aleksi sprawled out on my lap. …okay, okay, I also had two slices of goat cheese and sun dried tomato quiche. OKAY-I also had some cheesecake and chocolate&pear pie. The latter was heavenly and the former was almost as delicious. The quiche managed to be so good (plus I was so hungry) that I actually uttered sounds of ecstasy while taking bites of it. Little moans and grunts while I was savoring my quiche just echoed Aleksi's little audible sighs and moans of delight as he breastfed, getting crumbs of quiche on his face. Of course I chatted with Laura a lot-her and her husband just bought a house, and they're going to design it in Victorian décor, like her café. Lovely conversation about their outdoor sauna and their plans to jump into a frozen lake (through a little hole cut through the ice) in the middle of a sauna bath!!! When we left, it was about 6:30 or so in the evening, pitch black sky and the snow started falling. It was also windy and only SIX DEGREES Fahrenheit (sp?)-but there were lovely light fixtures on all the street posts that gave the city a look of holiday festivity. I was truly thrilled to be where I was. I noticed several groups of young people passing me by speaking in English, which I always get a light bulb going off look on my face when I hear, and stare unabashedly at the English-speakers when this happens. As if there's such a rare common thread bonding us together that they must immediately embrace me into their lives and share personal stories about how they ended up in Finland, equally interested in my own tale. I keep forgetting how many million people speak English on this earth! It's really not such a binding thread, but when I haven't heard anyone speaking English except to me for so long, then I get excited when I hear people using it not for my benefit. Anyway, I thought I would walk straight home, but of course I couldn't resist stopping into H&M and I bought several pairs of adorable, comfy soft knit (kind of like a thin sweater!) boy-short cut underwear with a lovely ribbon tied in front around the waist. I'm a sucker for antique looking and comfy undies. And a matching cami, of course. I walked out of there feeling like I had discovered a gold mine with this latest around-the-house-and-no-need-to-cover-up ensemble. People were looking at me so strangely on the street and as I caught a glimpse of myself in a store window, I saw why-with my jacket all zipped up there was no reason for anyone to know for sure I had a child inside there, wrapped up to my body. It appeared more like I had a slim body until my hips, and then I was not only like 11 months pregnant but also had breasts that would make dolly parton look flat-chested. Pretty hilarious, and I still can't get over that my size small jacket actually zips up over my big baby and me. We look like the marshmellow man, with a normal head and normal legs attached. Oh well, he was cozy and that's what counts. I loved the way the street lights gave just enough light on Aleksi's face as I looked down through the opening in my coat at the snow falling on his face and melting into little silvery sparkly water droplets. He seemed so content. I got home and took him out of all these trappings and I swear we both felt so warm and even sweaty that I thought he'd feel so much better to get undressed (I had to change his diaper right away-his recent poopy was so noisy and it vibrated both of us). I WAS WRONG. He immediately caught a vicious chill as he lay naked on the changing table, getting wiped up with warm cloths, and no matter how fast I put a new diaper and diaper cover, and then little sleeper outfit on him, it wasn't fast enough and his whimpers of protest turned into all-out-screams of agony. I held him close and walked around and uttered words of comfort to no avail. I zipped him up into a little fleece sleep sack as well, and wrapped another blanket around him AND put a crochet hat on him, and held him, trying to warm him up, but still the tears came and he looked as if he would pass out from the energy it took to be so upset about his chill. So I held him tight, sat down and offered him the breast (it was time for another meal anyway), and he managed to stop sobbing to eat. Within a minute he was totally snug and relaxed, and as I'm typing this sentence has just unlatched from my breast and is contentedly laying on my lap, and very drowsy. All in all it was a delicious day and I loved the winter wonderland outside.

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